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  1. #1
    The Gotei 13's Psychopath Hyunshi's Avatar
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    Lollipop Chainsaw Review - Xbox 360/PS3


    Hello there, the angel's from my nightmares, rabies, germs, and true believers, and without further adieu, welcome to The Golden View, where I, Nicholas McConnaughay, will talk about whatever keeps my ship above water, for this occasion, it's a video-game called Lollipop Chainsaw. Holy haberdashery, Batman, how could Lollipop Chainsaw be so good that it'd make you crawl out of that hole you've been hiding under and actually take the time to write a review? Well, thanks, I, um, I don't really know how to answer that, I wouldn't necessarily say that Lollipop Chainsaw is the best game that I have played recently, or anything like that. The last three or so games that I have played have been The Last of Us, Assassin's Creed 2, BioShock Infinite, and Batman: Arkham Origins, all of which, I would say are very good games. Hell, Infinite and Last of Us are probably two of the best games that I have ever played.

    Anyway, Lollipop Chainsaw is an action hack and slash video-game developed by Grasshopper Manufacture for the Xbox 360, (the console that I played it on) as well as the PlayStation 3. The game was published by Warner Bros. Interactive Entertainment and Kadokawa Games. It was released on June 12th, 2012 in North America, two days later in Japan, and three days later in Europe. The main-protagonist is a girl going by the name of Juliet. Juliet is a cheerleader with more tits than brains, voiced by the talented Tara Strong. You can immediately tell that the character is supposed to be a parody over the stereotypical teenage girl, because she's loud and stupid, and for a while, it's funny. Thankfully though, the character evolves into something more likable before the novelty of it all wears thin. Our chainsaw-wielding dame also has a boyfriend named Nick, who can be every bit as headache inducing, hotheaded, and ... other head pun, and these are the ingredients chosen to embark upon the story in Lollipop Chainsaw.

    And now, onto the story, ... where do we begin.


    Here we go: It's Juliet's eighteenth birthday, ... all of her family are zombie-hunters, while her boyfriend is completely oblivious to that fact, he gets bitten trying to save her, and she decapitates him to keep the virus from spreading. I immediately questioned why she didn't chop off his arm where the infection was, but I had no questions whenever she used magic to keep her boyfriend from dying. Now, she carries her boyfriend by her ass like a fanny-pack.

    I know, I know, strange beginnings, but I believe they really work out all of the kinks when they introduce the villain. Basically, a kid named Swan from Juliet's school that looks remarkably like Brandon Lee's The Crow decides that he is fed up with the world and all who inhabit it. He decides that it's time to hack-in-slash open the underworld, while at the same time, he leaves Juliet with five distinguishable zombie overlords to contend with. All while eating lollipops for health, as well as countless movie, video-game, and music references along the way.

    I think I might have answered the question as to why this game got me interested enough to write a review.


    Don't let the summarizing fool you, the game is actually relatively bizarre. And I think a lot of that can probably explain why I had mixed emotions about giving this game a chance. In all honesty, if I heard this premise, I would immediately want to get my hands on something like this on audacity alone, but just looking at the game, it looked as if it was more stupid than weird. As if to say, I didn't know if was going to be anything more than a one-trick pony, that didn't know anything else except playing off how attractive, stupid, and scantily-looking the protagonist. I think one of the things that got me really interested in this game is whenever I read that I could unlock alternative costumes like Shiro from Deadman Wonderland or two of the girls from Highschool of the Dead. Which, it's funny to bring up Highschool of the Dead because that's actually what this game reminded me of.

    For those that don't know, Highschool of the Dead is an anime that follows a group of friends during a zombie-apocalypse. As a show, it doesn't really innovate much at all when it comes to the apocalypse story, but it's actually entertaining to a degree. However, what made it standout is the fact that the animator had actually only had previous experience doing hentai, or anime pornography, so he basically made all of the girls large-breasted and had a lot of ... suggestive moments throughout the series, and even had nudity. While I thought in that show, it was stupid, because they played the concept straight and the female characters weren't actually stereotypical, I think that it's ironical and amusing in this game. One of the variables to consider is that this game doesn't have any nudity, and so, while the character is, of course, supposed to sell on sex-appeal, it really does feel like it's meant as a joke, and not something meant to completely override the rest of the game, which is an all-out parody of several notable musicians, video-games, and movies.


    The story doesn't have too much depth, but it is fun, and isn't nearly as hollow as what you might expect.



    The graphics in this game actually feel more like manga or comic-books than they do anime, and I like it. A lot, in-fact, I would say that the mere spectacle of the graphics is probably the best thing that the game has going for it. A lot of it seems deliberately as a throwback to a lot of older games, from the level-selection layout, the pause-menu, and the actual visuals of the game itself. These components alone really do help to make the experience feel exciting, imaginative, self-ware, and fun.

    There's another game that I believe is extremely similar to Lollipop Chainsaw, and that game is called Shadows of the Damned. I didn't even have to look to know that Grasshopper Manufacture developed both of these games, because they are so extremely similar in stye, humor, and game-play. Granted, one of them is more grounded and the other is hack-in-slash. Nevertheless, there's the perverted humor, references to movies, and the way that they change the game-play animation at some aspects for little mini-games. I enjoyed Shadows of the Damned too, for a lot of reasons, and there's a lot of fun references, and the game itself isn't bad by any means, and so, why it's close, I think I'd say that I still like Shadows of the Damned better. As far as game-play goes, which we'll get into in a minute, there's no competition between them, Shadows of the Damned has a lot of intricate little puzzles, and carries a over-shoulder shooter style that I much prefer over hack-in-slash.

    However, Shadows of the Damned is much more perverted, and a lot of the times, it seems to do the jokes to death, (The gun is called a ****ing Boner.) whereas, Lollipop Chainsaw gives off the vibe that it can't be too silly, it can only be too serious. I imagine that as my passageway to the game-play and controls of Lollipop Chainsaw, as said, it's hack-in-slash, and with that, you can pretty much predict what to expect with the game. It's repetitive, bland, and slow-paced, but somewhere along the way, I actually started to really enjoy myself. I think it might have something to do with the emphasis on racking up a high-score, along with the power-ups and special-abilities. I think that the game is probably a little too short, I was able to beat the game in less than eight and a half hours, and that isn't considering the bathroom breaks, cut-scenes, and times where I got stuck.


    A lot of critics brought up the boss-battles and how enjoyable that they were, and while I can appreciate them for what they are, I don't actually think they any of them were great. The boss-battle in Stage Five was probably the best for me, and it wasn't because it was good, but rather, because it was exhilarating, while I'd say that the last-boss was probably the worst. I think that Stage Five was probably the time when I actually started to really enjoy myself with this game, because it was a time when they let it all hang out. The level went on and on and on, and I didn't want it to end, whereas the other stages never really had an opportunity to kick it into another gear.

    As far as criticisms go, the mini-games were fun additions, but some of the them were unnecessary or too easy to die from. That would be fine, except it counts as an ordinary continue, and if I were to try and get the achievements, that would be a real bitch. The camera could be problematic at times, for example, if I were by a wall, I'd often times have to adjust it, and risk getting hit several times as a result. Whenever I would use the gun, for some reason, it always seemed to aim me away from the enemy, and it made some of the boss-battles unnecessarily irritating. In the first boss-battle, they specify that you need to destroy the speakers, but don't make it clear to destroy only the ones that he is standing on. I spent a long time trying to destroy all of them only to get hit, and have him spawn more. All while my character repeats, "Destroy the speakers."

    Also, sometimes, even though I am facing something, I'll strike, and yet, miss and attack in a different direction entirely.

    Verdict:
    In conclusion, Lollipop Chainsaw has a lot of things going for it whenever it comes to scenery, story, and humor, while the game-play is only average at-best with one or two minor nuisances. - Grade: 7.4 out of 10.0

    Under the Hood:
    Graphics: 8.0/10.0 - Along with the story, this is probably the best thing going for this game.
    Game-Play: 6.0/10.0
    Story: 8.0/10.0
    Overall Gaming Experience: 7.0/10.0 - I had some frustrations while playing, such as with the mini-games, camera, and whatnot.
    Replay Value: 8.0/10.0 - There's plenty of alternative costumes and achievements to hold someone over.


    Review Written by McConnaughay


  2. #2
    The Gotei 13's Psychopath Hyunshi's Avatar
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    If anyone see's any problems with it let me know and I'll edit it when I get back from college.

  3. #3
    Senior Member McConnaughay's Avatar
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    No flaws, it's simply a masterpiece of a review.


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  4. #4
    Can you call me Nyteblade YesConsiderably's Avatar
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    There is one flaw.

    The phrase is 'without further ado'. 'Without further adieu' is what is known as an 'eggcorn' - basically a linguistic term for when people confuse two words that sound the same.

  5. #5
    Senior Member McConnaughay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YesConsiderably View Post
    There is one flaw.

    The phrase is 'without further ado'. 'Without further adieu' is what is known as an 'eggcorn' - basically a linguistic term for when people confuse two words that sound the same.
    Don't you think it's more likely that the world has been using it wrong this whole time?


    And with that, I bid you ... ado.
    Last edited by McConnaughay; 29-01-2014 at 10:41 PM.


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